Day 008: Decide Already
Summary: Cole and Fiona have a minor blowup over betrayl and friendship. Then talk politics.
Date: 12 May 2016
Related: [http://the100.wikidot.com/logs:We-Are-Grounders]
Cole Fiona 


The Wall
It's the Wall, you know what it looks like.
Day 7

Where is Cole. Cole is on the wall, because he lives on the wall, breathes the wall, everything for the wall. It is love, it is life, and the eternally angry young man has devoted himself to it's construction. Given him an outlet for his anger, because at any point in the day, he can be heard yelling obscenities at someone for doing something wrong. While he directs traffic, giving instructions, handing out advince in his own profanity-laden way, he does not skirt doing any heavy lifting himself.

Needless to say, while he harsh, he is fair at what he does. Those who work for him, they've either gotten used to his tone or simply ignored it. However, they will say he doesn't drive them to exchaustion, gives plenty of breaks and urges people to rest when they need to. As he says he doesn't want 'anyone fuckin droppin dead on him'. He cares, in his own weird way about the people working for him. And as a result, construction has gone pretty well, can't ask for much more than that. Right now, he's up on the wall walk, helping secure a new piece of wall, ready to start the next.

Everyone who is reasonably capable has their turn on the wall. First building it, now patrolling on it, and now it's Fiona's turn. Spear in hand, she lopes along the catwalk, eyes on the outside until she comes across Cole's lone figure. Her mouth purses, and she tries to skirt around him and give him a wide berth. Of course, it's a catwalk of sorts, so all it is is awkward.

Cole has not made a lot of friends with his 'opinions' on stuff. Such as it is, but it's been a rough couple of days. He's been angrier, but hasn't yet taken it out on anyone particular person. But you'd have to be deaf to of not heard about him and Mika, and rumor suggesting that she left because he picked the camp over her. And she left because of it. It is what it is. As well as his belief that recusing their own was a bad move, and he eposed the whole 'needs of the many' should be looked after rather than 'needs of the few'. He may of not exactly been wrong, it just wasn't the popular thing to say. So most times, he's alone when he's not working. Which means he's sleeping. Mentally, more machine now. There is only the work, it's the only thing he has now.

Seeing Fiona coming, he stands up, scooting out of the way to let her pass if she needs. "Hey Fi." he offers pleasantly enough. For him anyways.

"Hi." She doesn't have it in her to be outright rude and ignore him completely, but it's clear that her tone is restrained. Yes, she's heard the rumors, and well…while she has her opinion about that, she's not altogether sure he'll appreciate it. Besides, she's pissed at him. Her empathy only goes so far.

And if there's anyone who can detect an edge to someone's voice, it's him. Cole was adjusting a part of the wall with hs tire iron, using it as a prybar to get something to fit more snugly in place. There's a look at, then a snort. There's a pause, as if the man is wondering if it's really worth his time. "Alright, let's fuckin have it then." he says what's on both their minds. "Tired of people pussyfootin around. So if you got beef with me, Fi, just say it already."

Up go her brows as she stops in th middle of their pass-by. "Yeah, I do. But I'm not going to be a passive aggressive shit about it, and I'm not going to deal with you with you acting like what bothers me is some kind of unfair inconvenience. It won't keep me from working with you and the camp still needs you."

"Oh, I'm fuckin sorry. I thought plain out asking the fuck your problem is, is a tad bit better than getting the cold fuckin shoulder." Cole snorts. "I thought that's what adults did. You got a fuckin problem with someone, you say it." He waves it off. "Forget it. You don't want to talk about it, fine." He goes back to what he was working on. "Don't fuckin talk to me about the well-being of this goddamn camp. I /know/."

"Really?" Those brows stay lifted. "Are you everywhere at once, that you know everything? Because I don't. All I said was that the camp needs you. That you're valued, and the thanks I get is being told I'm not acting like an adult. Well here's a childish response for that: Fuck you very much." Fiona's nose scrunches when she curses like that.

"I don't /want/ this fuckin camp to need me." Cole suddenly snarls. The dark rings around his give away his exhaustion, also displayed by his short-temeredness. Which is about as short a fuse as one can make it. "I'm doing it because it's right fuckin thing to do. That's /it/. I don't want to be reminded of that. Not some goddamn warm-fuzzies and a pat on the fuckin head. What I feel, what I /think/ means shit. They want a wall, they'll get a goddamn wall. A purifier, they'll get one. And whatever the fuck else anyone thinks of that needs building. It'll get fuckin done. I've already lost enough by speaking shit outloud. Enough friends." She gets a pointed look. "And I've already pinned my part of the blame. Owned it, not much fuckin else I can do about it. I've made my choice, for all the fuckin good it's gotten me. But I'm not going to stand here an play fuckin pity-party for myself. All I can do is work." To him, that's all he's got.

"Uh…Cole?" one of the workers starts up behind him. "You wanted to know when the support strut was dug. It is." No, not awkward at all.

Cole closes his eyes, turning away Fi, placing his hands on the waist edge of the wall walk. One deep breath is taken in. "Thanks, Mal." he nods. "Prep the framework, bury the base of the strut, and get ready to lift it up to meet with the open section. Get…ah, Viola and Colin to help you. Then let me know." Nodding the other teen scurries back down to the ground. He just looks tired, a hand reaching up to pinch the bridge between his eyes. "Don't have it in me to bitch at you, Fi. Not now. Never really did." he says, shrugging. "Be pissed at me. Think I'm a child, whatever. You still get my voite."

"Do I?" she asks softly. "Because when I needed you to support me before we attacked the Grounders, you walked away. People are going to fight. They're going to argue, and when it gets hard, you can't just decide fuck it, I'm going to take a walk."

"I would've let them die. And just about everyone wouldn't do that." Cole says simply. "Four people isn't worth the fuckin cost of getting everyone screwed over. That's just how I feel. And no one person is that important. Not them, not you, not me. Had it been me in a cage, I would've been fucking pissed someone came for me. Not if I knew what might happen as a result." he responds. "Did I walk? Yeah I did, and I amost didn't fuckin come back." He gives her a glance over his shoulder. "But I did. Because I fuckin had to. The guilt may not of affected Mika, but it would've haunted me. So it's whatever, I'm fuckin here. I could say that it wouldn't happen again, but that's just fuckin words. Seems like few people take words at face-fuckin-value. So yeah, I screwed myself multiple times. Nobody to blame but me. That's just what it is."

"It's entirely probable that I will be going to meet with Grounder leadership as an unarmed emissary." Fiona replies somewhat bluntly. "Do I still have your vote? What'll you do when I want to go in a direction you don't agree with? You led me to believe you had my back. So now what?"

"What do you want me to fuckin do, Fi?" Cole amost snarls. "You have my goddamn support. I can't say anything more than that. Anything else, you'll just take it on good fuckin faith I won't ditch again." What he's not going to say is that if he believed he could make a go of it in the wild on his own, he'd probably already of left by now. Then a shrug. "I'll tell you're being a fuckin idiot but if that's the way you want to go, then whatever. But at least you'll know where I fuckin stand on it. I won't agree but fuck, I'll go with whatever you decide."

"It's complicated." Fiona glances out into the darkness. "We're learning about Grounder culture. What it takes to get them to start talking. There's going to be a proposal to keep one and send back the other, with the emissary serving as a hostage to be exchanged. If you want to shout it down, or call for someone else, I can't stop you. But I won't refuse to do something I proposed myself, that's cowardly."

"You're playing with fuckin fire." Cole says warningly. "An you're taking a big fuckin risk, and you're hedging your bets on a guess that maybe won't get us all killed. That's my fuckin opinion. I'd let them both go, and if they come back with an emissary on their own, that's on them. If they don't, all the fuckin better. We're not equipped, we're not trained, we don't got shit. And maybe, just maybe, they'd be merciful enough to leave us the fuck alone. Between non-aggression and war? Even if there's no peace, I'll take isolation." Then he shakes his head. "But my opinion is worth shit around here, so take it for what it's fuckin worth. I'm not saying what you're suggestion couldn't fuckin work, or wouldn't. It's just leaving our asses hangin in the goddamn air if it all goes fuckin sideways." In the end, he sighs. "I'll back it. Got my reservations and you heard them. That's all there is to it."

"So basically if we disagree with you, you assume your opinion isn't worth shit?" Fiona shrugs at that. "We can't be isolationists, we can't afford to be. Trust takes time, and risk. And when the adults come down, better the Grounders on our side than wanting an even bloodier war."

"I'm not arguing it." Cole says flatly. "If that's what you want to fuckin do, do it. I'll back it, not sure what the hell else you want." Nope, voicing his own throughs haven't gotten him anywhere, why should he believe otherwise now. "I have work to do." he then grunts, stalking away.

"Cole!" Her tone is sharp, but only momentarily. "I'm still kinda pissed at you. It doesn't mean we're not friends." She'll leave it at that unless he has something to add.

Cole stops, eventually turning around. "The fuck you want me to say, Fi?" There's an edge to his voice, the man about to snap, the culmination of the last couple of days and constant taking it's toll in terms of stress, frustration, and whatever other emotions he's been dealing with. But it also sounds like he's trying /very/ for it not to be Fiona that one he finally cuts loose on. "I get it, okay? I get it. I walked out! I turned back! I ditched! I fuckin /get it/. I hurt you. I hurt probably the only goddamn friend I got left in this fuckin camp, and don't think for one fuckin moment that it doesn't bother me. But I can't take it back, it's done and fuckin finished. So I'm fuckin /sorry/." Well, there's a word that almost /never/ enters Cole's vocabulary. Or at least, she's never heard him say it.

Fiona studies him a moment. "Okay." she nods. "Apology accepted." And the almost brutally, "Mika didn't deserve you. You deserve better, and I'm glad she took off so you can come around to seeing that." Her turn to walk away.

Maybe Cole bristles at the mention of Mika. His lips thin out, and for a moment, he might've snapped completely. Can almost hear the teeth grinding. "Deserve better?" he scoffs after a moment. "I'd like you to name one fuckin person who you think who'd even bother to give me the fuckin of day at this point. Because I'm not really sure what the fuck I deserve anymore."

"And I think you completely underestimate how many people actually respect you and what you do." Fiona counters. "Do you know why no one has so much as breathed near the remaining fuel stores? Because no one wants to piss you off. Because they know when you find an eventual use for it - and you will - it'll be important."

"Because I've said on multiple fuckin occasions that messing with that stuff is suicide. It's tempermental, it's dangerous, and it /will/ fuckin kill you unless you know what the fuck you're doing an how to handle it." Cole remarks, as if this should be common sense. Even he won't mess with it. Not because he can't, but there's not reason to bother with it until there's a reason for it. Though the idea of people respecting him, or even listening to him is odd. And maybe just a little unsettling. "So…what? You're gonna vote for me or something?"

"Do you want me to?" she asks.

It was meant to be sarcasm, but Cole wasn't expecting that kind of answer. So he just stares. So yeah, she caught him in a question he doesn't have an instant answer for. "I…" he shakes his head. "Not gonna fuckin tell you what to do. If you want to, do it. If you don't, you don't."

"No," she shakes her head. "That's not how this works, Cole. Interest in how we maintain this camp isn't based on my whims, and you can't excuse yourself from the choice to take action by putting it on me. If you want a say at this level, you decide one way or another and you tell me what you want."

"I was pretty sure someone else nominates you. Would seem kinda arrogant to nominate your fuckin self." Cole says idly. "That someone believes that you'd be capable in some leadership capacity. Or some shit like that. Which is why I fuckin said I'm nominate you. Because /I/ think that you would be good for it. Got a better idea than a lot of these fuckers." Though it's clear he's a being slightly wishy-washy on the idea if he'd be so himself. "I can think whatever the fuck I like on whether or not I think I'd be good for it. Doesn't mean anything if nobody else does."

"Don't be a wimp." Yeah, she sees it. "Do you want it, Cole? If you do, I'll put your name up. If you don't, I won't." Her free hand goes to her hip. "It's that simple. Stop pussyfooting around."

"Fuck you, Fi." Politics. Cole has shown no love for it. And he's already thinking how it's going to get in his way. Get in the way of work. But even he can't deny that it could allow him to get things done. There's some gutterl growl of frustration, turning away from her. "Fine." he waves off with a hand. "Put my fuckin name in." And /this/ time, he actually does go back to work.

She knows, she knows in her heart there's no venom in that. "You wish." she says with a grin, and proceeds with her wall patrol.

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