Day 032: Sleepless And Suspicious
Summary: In which Cameron and Jael have a talk about suspicions and worries.
Date: 1 7 2016
Related: None
Jael Cameron 


Horticulture Labs and Gardens

his room is bright, as the ceilings are almost dominated with lights meant to duplicate natural sunlight. The cement has been painted white, allowing light to reflect and brighten every corner of the sprawling hydroponic gardens. The floors are all in cement with small divots in the floor to allow for drainage. There are rows upon rows of plantlife, naked roots floating in water basins that are constantly moving thanks to the filtration systems.

Off the main garden are several labs, and smaller greenhouses. This area is not only monitored by guards, but also by botanists, which are identified by their somber green lab coats.

Day 032

What day is it? They've been here… Five days? Well four days and a night? Cameron looks like absolute hell. He's obviously still not even kind of sleeping, and if he's eating enough, then he's a monkey's uncle. But he is hydrated, and he is clean, and every so often he loses himself into some hours of painting. That painting is downstairs in the residence, and is taking on the appearance of a giant, beautiful tree, careflly hand-painted with minute detail.%r%rBut right now Cameron is sitting under some botany stations on the ground, his legs pulled up to him with his arms wrapped around his knees. He looks… reasonably calm, at least. A bit nervous. Tense. On edge. But not freaking out or having a panic attack.

She's come a'hunting for him, with Cole left hopefully asleep. She's been keeping an eye on him, for all that he seems to have started coming around. Keeping an eye on him and prowling, absorbing every bit of information she can manage from these people without actually engaging with them. Much. Right now, though, she's looking for Cam, and when he comes into sight she sighs with relief, expression washing over with tired before she puts on a grateful smile. She flops down onto the ground beside him bonelessly, looking over at his face as she reclines on a hip and her elbow. "Hey." It's all casual. "S'up?"

Oh, he is totally smudged with paint here or there. On his fingers, arms, face. Even though he showers every day (… showers! every! day! all that water?! to waste?!) and cleans it off, inevitably he gets smudged up again later. When he's painting he simply has no conception that touching his face with fingers covered in paint is bad. Still. He blinks over at Jael, confused for a moment before he smiles, "I was thinking of the first time I kissed Morgan." Morganisnotdead. "Up in the Skybox, we weren't… together. I mean, we did eachother whenever we could sneak it, and he was my best friend up there, but I wouldn't let him get close. I wouldn't let myself feel… things for him. Because I knew he'd fail his review and get floated the day he turned 18."

Snorting, Jael rolls her eyes at him, mischief curving her lipsup at the corners and lighting up her eyes. "If you need a bit more alone time, I can come back," she deadpans. Not that she moves. "We're going to be okay, Cam," she tells him, lowering her voice a considerable amount. "We're going to get out of here, and find Morgan and the others. We are going to figure out a way, and we are not going to give up. Morgan's not going to give up, either."

"I know, right?" Cameron sighs, shaking his head, "I haven't had sex in five days. Before this we made a point to do it every day, we only really skipped twice." To this, Cam has a goofy grin for a moment, looking… longing. But thinking about those nice things means he doesn't have to think about anything dark. He does nod more seriously though, "You're right. He won't give up. I'm just not sure if he knows where I am. I don't really remember what happened very well. But…" He shrugs one shoulder, "How are you holding up?"

"Doesn't have to know where you are. You don't know where he is. As soon as he can, wherever he is, he's going to start looking for you. You know we'll be doing the same." Jael smiles for his goofy grin, and then she's looking more serious as well. Even so, when he asks her how she is she shifts to lean up, reaching to try and ruffle his hair (so easily dodged) before she drops back into her slouch. "I've been better," she admits. "It's all starting to wear at me. I think…" She catches herself, though, shaking her head. "I'll be fine."

Gah! Cameron totally dodges, lifting one hand to ward off and the other to pat his hair just so he can be sure its all perfectly on point. Because it is always perfectly on point, Cam's hair. Still, he grins for a moment, before serious returns. "What's wearing on you? I mean as far as most people are concerned, we're practically in paradise. I don't think Reno ever wants to leave. Ruth has practically written off the entire Ark in favor of becoming one of them. You think…?"

There's laughter for the dodge, a grin. Jael drops her hand again, and then she's making a face for the question of what's wearing on her. "That's part of the problem," she says. "Everyone is so stinking happy about being here, and…I don't know. I've got this sense of dread. The conversations I've had with the locals…just make it worse. I can't get over the fact that they tried to tell us everybody was dead until it became clear we saw through it, and then what happened with that boy who just…said he was going to leave, and the reaction that there was. None of this is right. And Cole…" She trails off there, glances down. "I was so cruel."

"I don't remember, did I tell you my theory of what they want with us?" Cameron squints. He came up with it a couple days ago, but, really, his life has been something of a blur, "I mean, I don't think they're saints, and I do believe they have an ulterior motive. I'm just not sure what to think about that. I'm not willing to just jump into trusting them like Ruth and Reno are— but I don't really blame them for wanting to be safe and happy." The bitterness in his voice says he might be blaming them. A little. "You were cruel?" He blinks, reaching over to lay a hand on Jael's arm comfortingly, "I have a hard time thinking you've ever been cruel."

"You did," she agrees, staring off at some point Over There, some spot on the wall. Not really for distance — her expression is just thoughtful. "I don't…I'm not sure if I buy that's all there is. They've had to think long-term for a long time, and keeping us for breeding stock like this…it's not the best course of action for that. I don't buy they're dumb." Her eyes snap back, sweep around the immediate area before she refocuses. "I'm sure they're watching us. All the time, probably. I'd suggest we be careful about what we say until we can figure out some sort of…something to interfere with being recorded." Pause. "I don't /blame/ them, either. I mean, I don't…think they're bad or awful or anything. It's just their people are their priority. Our people are our priority. Those priorities might be at odds." She glances down to his hand on her arm when he touches her, then smiles a bit over his way. "I made him buck up and pull his head out of his ass," she says quietly. "Even though he was…coping. I told him we needed him and couldn't afford his bullshit. I mean it's _true_, but…I could've let him process in a healthy fashion. I -know- it would've been better for him. But I made him come back anyway." The look on her face is briefly haunted for that; remembering the look on his face…yeah, it's not a happy shiny memory. "I'm afraid," she finally admits. "I'm afraid in a way I haven't ever been before. Not since I was first boxed and looking straight at the fact that I was probably going to die for what I did, for real."

"I think its brilliant." Cameron shrugs slightly, "Its exactly a long term thinking situation. Get our genetic inheritance, and they eventually can survive the ground." On mention of being watched, he frowns, looks up and around, "It wouldn't surprise me, but I'm not sure if blocking their recording would be a good idea. But I doubt they can watch every inch of this place. We can find some corners where its safe to talk, I think." Then he sighs a little bit, "I… don't nessecarily think what you did is wrong then, because I'm not entirely sure the way he was processing was healthy. Shutting down… I'm not sure if its processing." He squeezes Jael's arm a bit, "Whatever is up, we still have each-other, and we'll figure out how to get through this. Whatever it is. When we figure it out. If you need anything to help get you through the fear bit— and I understand thtat— you let me know okay?"

"It's not," Jael disagrees quietly. "Let those of us go who want to — it means the ones that want to stay are more likely to do so. Plus, the benefit of relationships opening up with the rest of our people. Older people — which means more genetic diversity, and a wider array of potential skills and resources being added to this place. Holding us against our will — and they are doing that — makes it a lot more unlikely we're going to voluntarily breed with them. It's more trouble than it's worth, and these people just…don't seem dumb enough to miss that." She just shakes her head for discussion of the recording, lips curving to a wry smile. "We'll…figure something out," she agrees. "I don't want to get over the fear. We're not safe. Fear is healthy, in this situation. It keeps my mind going, all the time."

"I don't think it's dumb at all." Cameron frowns, bristling, "I doubt they even see it as holding us against our will. They're an isolated community which has for a hundred years not stepped foot outside of their enclave except to wage war with a hostile army that's practically on their doorstep. They're obviously patient, and if we're here we're going to eventually integrate with them. Hell most of us are eager to do so already." He lifts a hand up behind his head to scratch there thoughtfully, "I'm not sure we're… not safe, though. I don't know what all is going on here, but their President seemed sincere. I don't think they mean us any harm."

"I'm not saying it's a dumb thought as to our predicament, stop it," Jael tells him with a touch of irritation in her tone, focusing a frown over his way. "I just think…" She trails off again, shrugging and looking away, shifting to sit up and pulling her legs around till she's sitting cross-legged. "I do," she says simply, on the heels of his last words. "If they didn't, why keep us prisoner? Why lie to us about our friends? Why -not- share the real reason behind why they won't let us go, whatever it is? If they're well intentioned, what do they have to hide?"

Cameron shrugs a bit at the frown, "It's not that I disagree with you, because I don't, but I think you're looking at it all in the worst possible light. Are they keeping us prisoner or is it legitimately not safe out there right now? Did they lie or were they wrong and just assumed the Grounders killed…. them." Morganisnotdead. "But there is something more to this. I don't know what it is for sure but there is something. But it could as easily be that they don't trust us yet even if it isn't malicious. I'm not really arguing that. I just don't know. I don't want to assume the worst. I tried to argue for peace with the Grounders but that is now impossible, so if we could have another ally…"

Listening to him attentively, Jael breathes out a heavy sigh, shoulders curling inwards as she brings her hands up to rub at her face. "We have plenty of people taking it at face value, looking at it in the best possible light," she eventually says, hands falling back to curl together in her lap. "If…" She stops, sighs again, shakes her head. "Maybe I should just give it up and enjoy it. If they mean us harm it's not like I'm going to be able to stop it by myself anyway."

"Oh, I'm not saying you should be one of those." Cameron shakes his head and smiles slightly, "I'm skeptical. They have to prove themselves. I just don't think taking them at face value— or assuming they're the worst possible, is good either. Both sides are making too many assumptions I think. But… I do think we should be careful. Watch. Learn… and figure out what it is they really want from us. And… figure out if we're willing to give it, or if we start fighting back. Because if they are up to no good, I'm not going to just sit back and take it from them anymore then I was willing to take it from the Grounders."

The smile isn't returned. Jael's posture remains folded inwards, her attention down on the hands in her lap. Even so, she nods agreeably enough to his words. "Yeah," she says, tone mild. "Sounds good." The words are followed by a long moment of silence before she takes a deep breath, holding it briefly before she exhales slowly and sits up, straightens herself back out, puts on a smile. "How are you holding up?"

Cameron squints at Jael's demeanor for a moment, frowning, "You seem upset." he says, softly, but then there's talk of how he's holding up? And Cameron shakes his head slowly, "I can't sleep. I've had maybe two hours a night, maybe, and not all at once… And when I do, I keep dreaming." Nope. He shakes his head. He's not going to talk about his dreams. "So I'm maybe going a little it crazy, one inch at a time."

"I feel like I ought to be the one named Cassandra," she answers his soft words, shrugging one shoulder loosely. Not that she lets her demeanor slip away from the much more pleasant one she's put on. Jael wrinkles her nose up when he explains how he's been, offering a little wry smile. "Maybe ask if they have something that could help you sleep, here? I bet they have — I don't know, at least a tea. I'll ask when we go back up there, if you'd rather not. Or whatever, if there's any way I can help."

"What, why?" Cameron blinks slowly, "You're not a sociopath who is selfish and out for yourself alone. Just because you don't trust them doesn't mean you're here tryinig to sabotage everything for your own purposes. There's nothing at all wrong with suspicion. Cassandra's crazy because she's a selfish bitch who'se okay with everyone dying if it means she gets to live an extra day." He grunts. But then there's a slow nod, "Maybe I'll go ask Doctor Montgomery. I need to get these stitches out anyways."

Okay, yeah, she laughs at that. "Because of the mythical connotations, Cameron," Jael explains for him, tone wound with amusement. "I meant the name fit me better than it does her." His slow nod and then agreement has her flashing another smile at him. "Good. If they do have something to help you out, just let me know. I want to make sure I know so I can tell people, if it comes up again for someone else."

Cameron looks utterly befuddled. He is not apparently a student of mythology. "Mythical… connotations?" Totally and completely baffled. Then he's nodding slowly, "Oh, I will." And at that, Cam yawns softly and lifts a hand up to rub at his face, "I just hope its the kind of sleep which doesn't have dreams. Sleep with dreams would be worse then no sleep at all." Morganisnotdead.

"Well, you're yawning now, that's got to be a good thing, I think," Jael suggests, not offering any further explanation for the bafflement, having just sort of waved it off. "Well, if it's keeping you asleep, even…" She trails off there, offers a little smile over. "Hopefully it'll be dreamless."

Cameron rises, and he nods his head slowly, "Okay, I'm going to go see if I can actually get that. Thanks for the talk."

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