Day 039: The Councilor And The Traitor
Summary: Fiona and Kai catch up and talk decisions and impressions.
Date: Day Month Year
Related: The Wire Wall
Fiona Kai 

Lake Arkadia — The Wilderness
Surrounded by breathtaking mountains and rolling foothills, the Lake Arkadia — or known as Lake Audo to the Trikru — is a sprawling, crystalline body of water that joins the Potomac watershed. It is encompassed in low grasses and young alder trees. The forests start to thicken to the west, where the rocky peaks of this small mountain range poke up out of the groves of hemlock and cedar. Following along a newly flattened path is the road to Camp Jaha. The Skaikru city is what remains of the crashed Alpha station. The enormous ring stands vertical some many hundred feet in the air, and it has already begun to be salvaged for materials.
Day 39

So. Fiona asked to talk to Kai after the group conversation, and it takes her a bit of time to realize Kai won't come in. Which rather compounds her whole issue, but she still needs to talk, so out she comes, to stand at the edge of the Trikru encampment.

Kai will come into camp Jaha, just not into Alpha station itself, but in truth she got sidetracked fetching wood after the conversation broke up, and is just emerging from the direction of the woods to drop a load on the pile of the gathering, dusting her hands off on her pants stiffly before she spies Fiona. There's an up-nod that way before the grey-eyed girl steps by her pile and walks over to Fi with a grunted,"Moba, I was asked to collect more firewood."

"No problem." says Fiona, but her brow is furrowed. "Kai - I need to tell you. Whether you consider yourself Trikru or Skaikru, you're my friend. That won't change." There's a but, maybe.

Kai gives a quiet grunt, nodding in the vague direction of the open space between camps by way of invitation,"Going to be honest Fi, there's not many that would call themselves my friend even before I became Trikru. But I have a feeling there's a but in there." she utters with a glance Fiona's way, invitation to elaborate.

"Yeah." Fiona says frankly. "It hurts. That you don't consider yourself part of us anymore. I don't know if I mean Skaikru or the One Hundred, but it's like…you were part of us. We were all in this together, and now it's like you want to divorce yourself. I think more people are open to you than you think, Kai. And the ones that aren't shouldn't matter."

"You assume I don't consider myself part of the hundred." Kai utters drily, unhurried in the way she steps from amongst the campfires for the illusion at least of privacy,"Most of the hundred haven't even bothered to ask me why, which I understand to a degree.. they fought the Trikru. Some of the Trikru here, even. That to them what I have done is betrayal is understandable. But I do not have the patience to have people I have known all my life call me a 'grounder pounder' or traitor or any of the other things they've seen fit to say to my face. The Trikru at least have a reason to be mad to my face, to many of them I am still representative of the people that sprayed metal and fire over their land. Of the death of their loved ones. Being a traitor to the camp didn't stop me from giving information to Grey and Morgan and the others. It has not meant that I have not looked for them when we've been out there. It doesn't mean that I haven't sat and endeavored to explain to the Trikru where our people differ to the point some of them wonder whether I will ever truly be not-Skaikru."

"So what people who don't know have to say about you weighs more than what the people who care about you have to say?" asks Fiona. "Every time you speak derisively of Skaikru, of the Ark, it's like you're digging a deeper chasm between us.

"And it makes it hard for me to understand why you worked so hard to save the hundred. Why did you want to save us only to throw us all away?" Throw her away, maybe. Fiona sometimes feels too much.

Kai casts a look at Fiona, it's a long and silent one and finally she shakes her head,"You assume much, Fiona. You and the rest of them." the grey-eyed girl grunts,"Reminding the Trikru that I am not Skaikru is not being derisive, being angry and not trusting some idiot not to shoot one of them and re-start this war.. is not being derisive. The only reason I have faith that they're not going to fuck it up is because they've been smart enough to keep you as Bandrona. I try to explain to them how we think, how our laws work, and why, because if they understand us better, and I can help understand them better, then maybe one day it wont fucking matter who is Skaikru and who is Trikru."

"I'm telling you how I feel, Kai." Fiona says. "I don't know the motives behind your choices unless you tell me, like you're doing now. I have people I trust, but I don't have a lot of friends." She bites her lip. "Martin and Lip were my friends. And they're in the goddamn mountain. I thought Cassandra was my friend, and that was a big mistake."

"You didn't ask until now." Kai points out,"I don't feel the need to tell people what they can't be bothered to ask about." she finds a spot where she can squat down, watching both camps quietly,"I think that's where I'm going. Wren told me to report to Gideon tonight, that once I do so I'm hers until we return. That he was fulfilling his promise." which actually brings a small smile to her lips,"You see, before I left I asked him for permission to look for our friends. For me returning to Coesbur wasn't just about a new home.. it was about being close enough to the Mountain that I could keep my promise to him and still devote time to what I've wanted to do since they were taken." she rubs at the back of her head and looks at the ground with a sigh,"It's why I gave Grey my maps. And told Morgan about the Reapers. Not that it stops Grey from treating me like the enemy.. but hey, ya'll used to call me Captain Buzzkill, too. Wren understands that if we find a way into the Mountain that I'm going to go. He's been good about not putting me in a position where I have to choose between my duty to him and what I consider to be my duty to the hundred. Because even if they hate me, it's not going to stop me from trying to help."

"That goes both ways. I can't read your mind." Fiona counters. "And every time you say y'all, it sounds like you're including me and Elias. It - " she pauses, lifting a hand and tugging at a lock of frustration. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Just come back safely, when you go out with Gideon, okay?"

"Yeh, well, the difference there is I assume that you are doing what you can for the sake of the hundred and the Skaikru." whom are clearly different in Kai's mind at least,"Are you not, now, acting like I am the enemy simply because I made a choice that you didn't understand.. and instead of assuming that I was doing it to help, it's that I did it to abandon all of you?" she asks with a glance up at the other girl,"You know half the shit I got blamed for up there I didn't do. I didn't beat that kid because he beat me at marksmanship. He said that Eli was better off being Boxed than having been with me. That party on Alpha? I didn't even know about it. I gave up trying to point out that stuff to people a long time ago Fi. So, understand.. the hundred are my people. Even if they hate me. The Skaikru I will help, where I can. I am Trikru, and I will be Trikru, but that doesn't mean I magically forgot or stopped caring about them. I'm trying to do the best I know how to make sure it never comes to war between the Skaikru and Trikru again."

"No, Kai, I'm not." Fiona says firmly. "I'm acting like someone who feels hurt because she doesn't understand her friend's choices. And I have just as much right to my feelings as you do. I'm telling you what it feels like, and trying to understand, but you'd rather see it as more persecution." She nods, lifting her hands in the universal signal for surrender. "Okay."

Kai grunts quietly,"No, I'm pointing out to you that you decided my reasons were negative without asking me. I know yours are positive. You see? I have hope, for them, because of you." there's a dip of her head towards Alpha,"That you're on the council means more to me than I think I can express properly. I'm sorry that it seems that way to you and others, and I will.. try to explain things more often. For the record, Wren complains that I don't ask enough questions or explain my thoughts too. I just.. it's easier not to. For me. Always has been."

Fiona cocks her head at that. "Maybe you didn't have friends who cared to listen, before. I don't know. A lot of us don't know much about who we were not just before landing, but before we got boxed in the first place." She nods. "I think what you're doing is important too, believe it or not. You're proof that it's not impossible for us to understand them. It's the other side to the coin, while I try to convince them that our way of life has value too, and doesn't supersede anyone else's."

Kai shrugs her shoulders, nodding briefly in acknowledgment,"Yeh." she agrees with Fi, a wry smile twisting her lips,"Feels weird when you think about it. None of us are really the same people we were when that door opened. I don't think it's a bad thing though." she stretches slowly and stiffly to her feet,"I'm happy to share what I learn with you, though I suspect you already know about it from the non-military aspect at least. They're all about the community. What Morgan learns about the Reapers? That's important because they were once Trikru. They were once friends and family and then they.. go mad.. and all they can do is try to put them down. But if we're going to take on the Mountain? Knowing how far they can reach with the missiles and evacuating the villages that are in range helps protect the thing that matters. It helps protect their people. If they aren't afraid that children and elders and innocents are going to be blown up by the Mountain it free's the warriors to focus on Jus drein jus daun.. blood must have blood. It's not that they don't hate the Mountain, it's not that they don't want it to die in horrible screaming fire even more than the Skaikru.. it's that they have lost more people than we can begin to understand across generations to the Mountain, and that the cost has become too high. People like Britt? Like Arlin? The scouts. They have information. Where the destroyed villages were. Where the mist has been encountered, but without a sufficiently detailed map it's stabbing in the dark with no proof to give them." her attention turns towards Fiona properly,"You want the Trikru to take the Mountain, show them that it's possible without the clan being destroyed. Show them that the Mountain can bleed, and they will drain it of every drop."

"I don't want Trikru to take the Mountain, Kai." Fiona says with a lift of her chin. "I want Trikru and Skaikru to take the Mountain. Together."

Kai grunts,"Ah, but the Skaikru? They're already willing to. They don't have the fear of the Mountain that the Trikru has been given over generations, Fi. Convincing the Skaikru's the easy part, in my opinion." she gives a small smile,"It's also to be noted, they only have one village, and that likely far enough away not to be threatened.. that's not true of the Trikru. So if you want them to agree, teach them that the Mountain can bleed. But if I'm right? And that's where we're going? Maybe that's already happening. I hope so. I worry about Tink and the others. I just.. I hope that they aren't suffering."

"If they had just taken them to rescue them, they would have let them go right now, or responded to communication attempts." says Fiona grimly. "I hope they aren't suffering either, but at the same time, I don't think the motives of the Mountain would necessarily be good if they're keeping them from us."

Kai gives a slight nod,"I don't believe that they are good, either. The Trikru.. I mean I hear from them amounts to how you go near the Mountain and they retaliate in excessive ways against people who had nothing to do with the approach itself.. I have no reason to believe they're lying or that they're mistaken.. but yes, if their actions were to.. help our people, they would be free now. I just.." she shakes her head and then clenches her hands together, rubbing them hard against one another anxiously,"I can't sleep when I think about it, Fi. I try not to.. I can't let it disrupt my focus, but.. yes. I want our people free. And I want the Mountain to die. Painfully."

"I get that. I get that completely." She hugs herself. "I have these moments - with Tuan. I'm happy, and then I realize Cam and Lip and Martin and all the others, they're in the Mountain, and then I feel guilty for being happy."

Kai nods her head slightly,"Me, too. With Eli. And then I decide that yes, I can keep going. But we're going to get them back. I just.. you and Kane? You can convince them via diplomacy. The rest of us? Well, I'll march where the kruheda tells me to march. And it doesn't matter if I'm hurt.. if getting more Reapers and that shit is going to help.. sign me the fuck up. The sooner the Mountain dies, the sooner I can sleep."

"Amen to that." responds Fiona. "I'm hoping if we can actually learn more about the Reapers, it might be what swings the kruheda over for us, and if we have her and Oxfor, we have a chance with the Heda herself."

"Green Eden I hope so." Kai breathes,"I've never met the Heda. Which is possibly a good thing? I'm still a child to them, and there's a lot of things that we do that they find.. strange. I don't want to screw things up by giving the Heda a bad impression of the Skaikru because of my failure as a Trikru." she smiles vaguely and shakes her head,"As it is we were asked to come as an example of the cooperation possible and even when they don't understand the words, they sure understand that people in the camp aren't happy to see me. Combine that with the vague desire to get into a fight with them and I'm.. out here because it's the best thing I can do for diplomacy. And because my mom.. and because I just don't like.. it bothers me, to see Alpha down here. And I know that it's not true for others, like you.. but I didn't like Alpha the first time, definitely like it less now."

"It is what it is." Fiona says. "I look at it this way; those lives aren't the only things saved, but much of the resources of the stations as well. And those resources may save us. I don't know if it will help, but maybe if you think of it that way…" she trails off.

"Some of those resources are good, but the Skaikru can't end up reliant upon the technology, Fi. Use what's good, sure, but not.. the world doesn't need all of it." there's a shrug of Kai's shoulders, careful of her stitches,"They'll help save them, I agree. Me? I don't need them. I've actually found I'm happier without them. Granted, I also accept that I like the battlefield. All of which is why I accept that now I would make a really shitty Skaikru Guard, but I think I'll make a pretty good Trikru Warrior." there's a lopsided smirk from her,"Be careful, Fi. And know that wherever I am, you're always welcome. And I'll have your back. I'm going to go find Eli and spend some time with him before I get my orders.. I know you guys have got this."

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