Day 025: The Wisdom Of Guru Lip
Summary: Stone goes to sit at the feet of Guru Lip for sage advice on romance
Date: 18 June 2016
Related: Umm...Thanks
Lip Stone 

Camp Somewhere
Mid-day of Day 25

"Lip! Hey dude! Wake up man! Fiona's naked!" Hey, when you find your buddy and former cellmate sacked out in some obscure corner of the camp mid-day and you need his advice, you damn well play dirty to get him to wake up. Of course, the Boy Scout, Billy Stone, giant of the Delinquents is feeling instantly bad about that lie, both for having said it, and for the imagery it put in his own head. So whether it worked or not on the kid he was trying to shake awake, he's mumbling afterward. "Actually, she isn't here. But…who knows, she might be naked somewhere."

Lip pops up like he didn't just have wounds that were severe and painful not too long ago. He's up and spinning around with all the speed of an animated tasmanian devil before he realizes that this was just a ruse to get him up and paying attention. "Son of a bitch." is muttered mostly to himself before he turns to look at Stone an just gives a roll of his eyes. "Mate, you can't be sayin' stuff like that and it not be true. There are very few, like about a hundred, dying wishes that I have and that is one of them. Definitely in the top ten. You can't play with my emotions like that. I'm sensitive." Lip finally breaks into a small grin.

No damage report available. Make sure lip is a valid PC, NPC, or vehicle name. It could be they have never taken any damage.

The much bigger guy can't help but give a grin at that, a thick, calloused hand reaching out to slap him lightly on the back while Stone's moving to set his bulk down beside him. He's gone shirtless again in the heat, just cargo vest and scars, the bandage around his throat lighter than its been since the attack on camp, his voice still kind of horror movie-esque, but starting to sound better. "Hey, I get it, trust me. Stupid Devil's Dice List, remember?" A shake of head and the big guy reaches up to scrub a hand over his face. "I need your advice, bro. Like seriously bad." Stone is looking down at the ground with that, a sort of awkward embarrassment settled over him at whatever 'advice' he's looking for.

"I fell asleep between Gertie and Fiona. I don't remember shit but how wet that dream was." Lip's head even tilts to the side a bit as he starts to go into a flashback daydream sequence of those exact events. "Devil's Dice? That's what we're calling it? Ugh. Nauseating." Shaking himself out of his own mind and his own thoughts which tends to be a pretty difficult task, Lip finally decides to pay some major attention to Stone. He strokes his beardless chin and everything. "Mmmm. I see. Help you, I will. Yes. Advice, you seek. Give it to you, I will, hm? Yes?" Lip has no idea why he's talking like that but he figures it just seems to fit.

"Heh. You're such a dork." Stone can't help but be cheered up though, laughter touching the voice and a big arm reaching over to push the other guy over. "Can't believe you missed all this. Though…I admit that would make a heck of a dream…" Shaking off the thought of Gertie and Fiona, his big hands come up to again scrub at face, together this time, then over the shorn rasp of his scalp. "Fine then…to catch up the sleeper who apparently hasn't heard the rumors floatin' about. I got hit with an evil freakin' question by the illustrious game creator himself. Who in camp do I have a crush on." Stone's looking like a man blushing fierce, but for fact his darker skin doesn't show it almost at all. "They wouldn't let me off the hook and name just one…so I…uh, named all eight of them." He let's _that_ embarrassment sink into his buddy's mind before hands cover up his face, muffling the list as it's uttered. "Lark, Fiona…don't get jellie, I know it's never happenin', Morgan, Grey, Cameron, Tink, Kai, and…fudge my life, Shi."

"Wait…" Lip shifts in his position to make sure that it seems like he's sitting up to see if he can't get a little bit more clarification by sitting up straighter or something. Apparently. he didn't hear what he thought he just heard. One finger goes into one of his ears so that he can make it a bit less dirty. He clearly needs to make sure that there's nothing to clog up what he just heard. "What you're tellin' me is that you have a crush on eight people. And you had to tell everybody that was playing Devil's Dice. Ugh, that name is so gross." Lip tries to make himself focus. It's hard for him to focus. He's weird. "Uh. So?" The look on lip's face is completely confused. "And?" Lip shrugs his shoulders again. So what?! I got a crush on everybody that has tits. Hell, I might even be convinced to take Chunk for a ride on all of this." Lip motions towards his completely self-thought sexy self. "I don't see a problem. So you like eight people and everybody knows it. Big whoop. Pick one, fuck 'em, then you got seven more." Lip grins. "Those are some stellar odds, mate!"

"Guh. That's not the advice bit! Well…sorta, but…guh!" Frustration leaves Stone glaring mock-fiercely at his friend, sighing after and turning to look at the ground. "It's just…like…background to the problem. Like…yeah, that sucked. It sucked worse having Elias dare me to say the dirtiest word I could think of and never say." Lip's one of the very few who knows about Stone's mother asking Stone to promise her to try to stop swearing just before she died. He knows how seriously Stone took that promise even if she didn't mean for him to _never_ swear again. So someone daring him to do it in the game probably set off his rare temper badly. "I just growled out 'Slatternly' to be a smart-butt, and then walked after answering the truth about the crushes."

He waves a hand through the air as if trying to physical bat that all away. "Whatever, that's days ago now. I got bigger issues." Dark chocolate eyes slide over to the smaller man, overshadowed by furrowed brows. "Listen…like, most of the list is just…in my head, yeah? You know how it is. Lark's been a friend since we were kids, Fi's….Fi. Morgan's saved my life at least twice now and…yeah. Grey…even knowing he's straight as an arrow, I just respect the heck out of him. Cam…just helped me in that battle and I opened up to him a bit later and…damnit he and Morgan are pretty together! Kai I've had a thing for since training, but she's always been hung up on Elias, so it was no big. Tink…Tink and Shi are kind of the problems….except, maybe not for the one. Tink's just cute as heck and got all this energy and life and hope…I have barely talked to her since noticing her like that, but…yeah. I totally fudged that all up this morning though when she…uh, she kissed me and…it wasn't…like rockets ya know? Nice and soft, but…not like…" he shakes a hand, not talking about the other, notably having not mentioned Shi's part in all this. "I…well, I stupidly replied to it with 'Umm…thanks'." A big wince. A grimace at the memory, utterly feeling like an idiot as he mutters. "She…uh, ran off before I could stop her, looking like I'd kicked her puppy." Even Lip probably knows that 'umm…thanks' isn't the right response to a first kiss.

"Oh my Zod, Stone. First off all, you stud. Second of all, hot damn!" Lip just takes a moment to revel in the fact that Stone is getting some serious action around here. "Let's take a second and put things into perspective before you turn this into a bigger problem than trying to figure out what to do with a hundred kids you locked up for reasons beyond their control and oh, wait, let's just sentence 'em to life on a fucked up ass Earth until they die! Let's just stop you before you get to that point, yeah?" Lip gets to his feet and begins the process of looking like he has this entire thing under control. Which he probably does. "Here's the thing. You need to relax. The fact that you're even worried about any of this proves beyond the shadow of a colossus that you're thinking way too hard about this. Honestly, the chances of anything down here being magical and rainbows and unicorns and shit? Not a reality. We're on too short of a lifespan here to be worried about each other's feelings. So she kissed you and it didn't make Unity Day look like a bad birthday party. Big deal. That doesn't mean you can't still have some fun together. The reality of the situation is that each and every one of us could be dead tomorrow. Hell, there's probably a Groundhog aiming an arrow at my head right now. I could get shot right here in front of you and die trying to give you advice on your, which I have to say is pretty damn impressive, love life." Lip doesn't even seem to care that it could happen. His back's towards the wall and everything. Whatever. "The point I'm trying to make here, mate, is that love? companionship? Bloody hell, relationships?! Ain't nobody got time for that!" Lip pauses for a second to let those words sink in. "All I see is opportunity in your future. A Tink and Shi shaped opportunity that will allow you to have your cake and eat her too. Don't blow this, man. Me? I'm going to die alone down here. So you gotta' have like seventy eight threesomes. If not for yourself, for me."

The really, really scary thing about this? Stone's totally listening to everything Lip's saying, and the big guy is weighing it all as thoughtfully as if it were from the lips of a great guru distributing blessed knowledge. He's chewing on his lower lip, eyes distant, nodding occasionally, wincing occassionally, looking like he's blushing occasionally, but he's taking it in. And…at the end of it, he's glancing over and looking kinda freaking awkward. "That…actually helps, bro. Thanks for it. Though…uh…I…uh, still didn't get to the advice part…but funny you should mention…uh, threesomes or whatever."

Okay, now that he has Lip's attention, the awkward giant, shoulder's kind of hunched, is looking away to the ground again and going on. "Tink's…probably never gonna speak to me after that…but Shi…Shi's kinda a bigger problem. She's…like my _friend_ man, like I said. We've…uh, sorta kissed once or twice in the past, seen if we wanted to…ya know, go down that route. But I always chickened out cause…I didn't want to lose her as my friend. I _still_ don't! But…see, she was right there for that List and…later, she asked me about it. Was kinda upset I put her last on it. I explained that…I put her last cause she was the hardest for me to admit and…like hurt the most to crush on. Cause dangit she's my _friend_! But I never really…ya know, stopped thinkin'…Well…apparently neither did she." Another awkward sideways glance, and he's wincing. "She…she uh…kissed me too. First actually. Like…uh, the other day, before this Tink stuff. We…uh, kissed, and it was like the sun burned my lips it was so…uh, ya know, hot?" Oh the poor big bastard, he just is so out of his depth. "And….and, well someone saw us, we were in front of Ariadne and her tent, and…yelled out 'Go, Boy Scout!" And…I freaked the heck out. I got up so fast, I knocked her on her butt, and I…babbled about friendship, and then I ran like a scared little puppy."

Oh the shame is strong with this one. Strong indeed. But Stone's holding up a hand, grimace still set, eyes wincingly half closed. "That's…uh, not the end of it. This mornin'…after Hanne got cut up and we helped her, after Tink…well, I went to go take some stuff back to Ari and Shi…and we sorta ended up talkin' again." A big hand scrubs YET again over his face, muffling parts of what he goes on to say. "I…uh noticed how the two of them were together and…it turns out Ari and Shi have…like a bit of a thing going too. They kissed! And…and…then Shi and I kissed again and…it was still…ya know, sunfire and lightning! And…Shi and Ari…they're…like fine being together, and me being together…and…fudge, I dunno! What if they want to…like be together all…together!!!" Stone looks desperately freaked out, and is again looking to Guru Lip for wisdom to his oh-so-terrible predicament. "So…uh yeah, advice. Now you got the whole…like, story. What the fudge do I do, man? What if I…like fudge everything up and ruin my friendship with this crap? What if I…like embarrass myself with them? What the fudge do I do?"

"You fuckin' prick." Lip says this with all the fake disdain that he can muster up on short notice. He's not actually mad or anything. He can't even be mad at that. He's pretty much just completely and utterly trapped in a state of jealousy that has circled all the way around to becoming his forever stated new way of life. There's no reason he should even be offering advice. In fact, he just drops down to the ground again in a slumped manner that proves he has been destroyed. Internally. "You're tellin' me that you got all these girls that want to be with you and are okay with being with you and with each other and you have a /problem/ with that?!" Lip throws a hand against his head and falls backwards onto the ground in the most dramatic fainting fashion that he can muster up on such short notice. "Mate, just go. Go be with them. All of them. One of them. Half of them. It doesn't matter, yeah? The fact of the matter is that you have people that actually want to be around you, be /with/ you, in a way that's more than just pointing and laughing." Lip almost winces through that last part. "Love is love, mate. Sometimes it's nasty and brutal, sometimes it's flowers and candy. And sometimes it's just the tarnished and cracked side of a coin that is never worth anything. But if there's one thing I've learned is that love is worth the risk. As long as I'm not dead, you'll always have friends. But this? This is something else entirely. Go for it. Jump in with both feet and eyes closed. For once in your life, don't be you, be me."

Stone's whole huge body winces at those first words like a kicked dog, thinking at first they were literally angry. But looking over to his friend with a shy sort of hope he misheard, the big guy's relaxing bit by bit, looking sad for his friend at parts, but hopeful at other parts. The Wisdom of Guru Lip doth beam down upon him. And Stone genuinely seems to be listening to it and eagerly awaiting more. Lip chewed enough to leave a divot in it when finally he speaks, the timid giant murmurs out. "I…I don't know _how_, Lip! I'm…not like you. I'm not fearless and cool about this crap!" Oh how admired and jealous he is of the other's bravery in this. Something he's never really expressed fully. "I…don't know how to get out of my own fudgin' way and…just risk it all!" Teach me the ways of the Force, Obi-Wan!

"You know how you felt when the Groundhogs came to kill you all? You just gotta' do that. Just, y'know, instead of taking an arrow to the throat and sounding like the world's worst frog for the rest of your life, you might have to risk taking one to the heart." Lip throws his hands behind his head as he gets comfortable on the ground. Where he belongs. Underneath the feet of all those that are worth more than a thousand hims. "Stop listenin' to your head and start listenin' to your heart. Sometimes, I think that's the only way we'll ever get anything done around here. But what the hell do I know, right? I'm just Lip." Stopping himself from diving into another one of his torrential rants, Lip just focuses in on things a bit more. "You can do this, mate. I know you can. You just gotta' stop thinkin' and start doin'. And if all else fails, ask yourself the most important question you'll ever have in your head: What Would Lip Do?"

"WWLP. I…I can do that…maybe…hopefully." Stone looks like he's on the verge of inspired, still chewing at his lip after the words, but with a more determined expression on his face, a small nod, and a rumbled. "WWLP. Yeah…okay. Thanks, bro. I…just really am way the fudge out of my depth!" He reaches over to pat the ground-laying guy on the shoulder in thanks, giving him a friendly, happier smile that morphs a little lopsided at the end. "And hey, I never woula got to it without you, so don't 'I'm just Lip' yourself. You're my guru in this crap and I'd be totally screwed without you helpin' me!" Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!

With that, the big guy is pushing up to his feet, that look of determination trying to waver, but Stone is nodding to himself and muttering. "K, then. What Would Lip Do? He'd sack up, make sure what he wanted, and then go for it! Catcha later, bro. I'm gonna go try to talk Cameron and/or Morgan into makin' out with me!" Wait…what?! But it's too late. Stone's off on long-legged strides like a man driven on a mission. What has Lip unleashed?

"And the word is FUCK! FUCK! Not fudge! FUCK! You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!" Lip sighs and lays himself back down on the ground to see if he can't get a little bit more sleep. Or at least have another wet nightmare.

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