Day 042: Proof Of Life
Summary: Kai reflects on the state of things in her world.
Date: 11/07/2016
Related: Reapers Under The Mountain

Day 42 — Wilderness Camp

Alive. How could one word shake the world? So small. Five tiny letters, and yet it felt as if a weight had fallen from her shoulders. It didn't bury the other things; anger, frustration, fear, but that word from Lip's mouth both meant a world of difference and frustrated her about the Skaiboy's anew. It didn't matter that she understood the tactical reason for withdraw, a part of her nursed the resentment that she hadn't taken the shot. That it was Grey of all people who'd sat in front of her to interfere with it.. and then he had a nerve to act like she betrayed the Hundred. The Skaikru.

Not Arkkru. She shifted about in the tree to look back towards the looming presence of the Mountain. That there was a distinction now between the two in Pontus' mind pleased her on a level she couldn't describe, but it was short-lived in the face of other issues, other concerns.

She didn't want to be heading away, she wanted to be heading back. It galled her that behind her closed eyes all she could see what the man in the Hazmat suit silhouetted by the open door. Her mind turned over the details of it she could remember but it brought her thoughts back to the not so vague desire to punch Grey and consciously she forced herself to open her eyes and set it aside. Only for a new worry to take it's place.

She hadn't understood, when they left, what the kruheda was angry about. But it was them. Out here. And though Pontus had said.. or she thought she understood of his Trigedasleng that the Heda approved of what they were doing.. the kruheda did not. It rose its own kind of worry in her, it's own kind of frustration. Wren had chosen to send her, given her orders to follow Gideon, and she couldn't help but admire him doing so knowing the kruheda's wrath for her action would fall upon him.. but it also elicited it's own kind of guilt, that once again he had risked himself for the Skaikru.

Green Eden, please. she couldn't quite help but think as she cast her eyes to the sky, Please just let my people, all my people, be safe. Please let Grey's video, Lip's escape.. let these things be enough. Please let this Lexa be a wise leader. A good leader. One who would spare my First and be bold enough to take the Mountain. Please give me the strength to see this through.

They were alive, all the hope she'd clung to wasn't just an ember, it was white-hot bile in her mouth as her mind wrestled with all the potential complications around the simplest desire. The Hundred must be free. The Mountain must die. I'm coming Tink she silently promised as she shifted about in search of a comfortable place to prop herself, to try and get some sleep before it was her turn to stand watch. Hang in there Cameron. Op. All of you. Green Eden you can hate me forever, just stay alive.

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